As I said goodbye, the tears in my heart were streaming forth, melting my soul, almost overflowing into reality. I put on my mask of happiness—perhaps a little stiff, most certainly well-worn and maybe a little transparent in spots. I never asked for this time to come. I was reluctant to say a word because that would signal the end…both of what was left of my mask and what was left of us. I don’t know why I did, but I stretched my hand out to meet yours and I clasped it tight, knowing that I might never have that privilege again. I looked into your eyes as my heart overflowed out of mine and over my cheeks and onto the tiled floor. Those beautiful eyes, which spoke of love and joy and contentment, yet which contained a sorrow that was too deep to know. Parting was good; it was right, yet so wrong. As your hand slowly slipped from mine, I turned to hide my face as my mask completely fell apart. One last look over my shoulder and you were gone forever. I felt crushed and alone. I was alone. There was no one to turn to. I ran to my Rock for comfort and love, and it was then that I realized that we will always be together at the cross…always. Even though we have parted ways, I will always meet you when we are falling face down at the feet of Christ, asking for the same forgiveness and blessings. Though we might never meet again in this form, we will meet again. The tears haven’t stopped flowing…my memory is racing with all the times we spent together…but I am resting; resting in truth, resting in love, resting in Christ. I love you; that won’t ever change. And, I am looking forward to when we shall meet again, be it here or be it in the heavenly realms. I miss you and I am praying for you.
*****
Yeah, that's a little cheesy, but it has been on my mind as I am having to say more goodbyes as I grow older. The more I know and the more places I've been, the more friends I've had to let go...the more family members I've had to leave behind...the more homes and comforts and niceties (sp?...wc?) I've had to forsake. Maybe that's a little dramatic, but I think it will only get worse and worse as I grow older. Leaving all of my amazing brothers and sisters in Christ from college was hard, just as leaving my loving and caring family here was hard. I wrote the above in response to a good friend who is leaving college and not coming back. I don't know if I'll ever get to see her again.
Anyway, I'm glad to be home on break and I am looking forward to seeing everyone again. And, just as an aside, I have been informed that "alright" is not a kosher form of the phrase "all right."
*****
O God Beyond All Praising
O God beyond all praising, we worship you today
And sing the love amazing that songs cannot repay;
For we can only wonder at every gift you send,
at blessings without number and mercies without end:
We lift our hearts before you and wait upon your word,
We honor and adore you, our great and mighty Lord.
Then hear, O gracious Savior, accept the love we bring,
That we who know your favor may serve you as our King;
And whether our tomorrows be filled with good or ill,
We'll trumph through our sorrows and rise to bless you still:
To marvel at your beauty and glory in your ways,
And make a joyful duty our sacrifice of praise.
Michael Perry, 1982
