Goodbye

As I said goodbye, the tears in my heart were streaming forth, melting my soul, almost overflowing into reality. I put on my mask of happiness—perhaps a little stiff, most certainly well-worn and maybe a little transparent in spots. I never asked for this time to come. I was reluctant to say a word because that would signal the end…both of what was left of my mask and what was left of us. I don’t know why I did, but I stretched my hand out to meet yours and I clasped it tight, knowing that I might never have that privilege again. I looked into your eyes as my heart overflowed out of mine and over my cheeks and onto the tiled floor. Those beautiful eyes, which spoke of love and joy and contentment, yet which contained a sorrow that was too deep to know. Parting was good; it was right, yet so wrong. As your hand slowly slipped from mine, I turned to hide my face as my mask completely fell apart. One last look over my shoulder and you were gone forever. I felt crushed and alone. I was alone. There was no one to turn to. I ran to my Rock for comfort and love, and it was then that I realized that we will always be together at the cross…always. Even though we have parted ways, I will always meet you when we are falling face down at the feet of Christ, asking for the same forgiveness and blessings. Though we might never meet again in this form, we will meet again. The tears haven’t stopped flowing…my memory is racing with all the times we spent together…but I am resting; resting in truth, resting in love, resting in Christ. I love you; that won’t ever change. And, I am looking forward to when we shall meet again, be it here or be it in the heavenly realms. I miss you and I am praying for you.

*****

Yeah, that's a little cheesy, but it has been on my mind as I am having to say more goodbyes as I grow older. The more I know and the more places I've been, the more friends I've had to let go...the more family members I've had to leave behind...the more homes and comforts and niceties (sp?...wc?) I've had to forsake. Maybe that's a little dramatic, but I think it will only get worse and worse as I grow older. Leaving all of my amazing brothers and sisters in Christ from college was hard, just as leaving my loving and caring family here was hard. I wrote the above in response to a good friend who is leaving college and not coming back. I don't know if I'll ever get to see her again.

Anyway, I'm glad to be home on break and I am looking forward to seeing everyone again. And, just as an aside, I have been informed that "alright" is not a kosher form of the phrase "all right."

*****

O God Beyond All Praising

O God beyond all praising, we worship you today
And sing the love amazing that songs cannot repay;
For we can only wonder at every gift you send,
at blessings without number and mercies without end:
We lift our hearts before you and wait upon your word,
We honor and adore you, our great and mighty Lord.

Then hear, O gracious Savior, accept the love we bring,
That we who know your favor may serve you as our King;
And whether our tomorrows be filled with good or ill,
We'll trumph through our sorrows and rise to bless you still:
To marvel at your beauty and glory in your ways,
And make a joyful duty our sacrifice of praise.

Michael Perry, 1982

Alright...

Hey! So I'm coming home on the 12th, so after that hopefully I will have an update for "ya'll"...I'm really excited to go back home!!!!!!

Hey There!

So, I know it has been awhile since writing, but I guess time kind of gets away like that when in school. I've been doing well for the most part and I have been having a blast at college. Honestly, I am so happy with school and life right now. I just miss my family and friends back home. Other than that, though, it's great!! God has been so good to me. He obviously knows what He is doing in my life and He has been so good to show me the goodness in His plan so far. Anyway, hopefully when I have something more profound to share, I will.

Hello!

Just a quick update for everyone...

Things are going great down here!! I love college and I am learning tons about both the various subjects and about myself. I've made a lot of good friends, too. It is so cool to be in a Christian environment and to have Christian teachers who put God first in their lives.

Prayer Requests:

1. Please pray that I would be a good steward of my body and of my time. I think that I am doing okay in both of those areas, but it would be so easy to make bad choices.
2. Also, my computer is sick right now and needs help. I think the problem will be solved very shortly, but it has definitely been a way to learn trust and patience.
3. Lastly, pray for me that I would become less prideful and more compassionate. I think that right now my compassion stems from pride. That's not right.

Thank you so much! I miss everyone and look forward to Christmas break.

Nothing Really New, But...

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...here are some pictures...(sorry fam, I'm still having trouble sending...)

Accident

Something happened the yesterday that caused me to contemplate life and think about God. Actually, college has been great for that thought process, but this really brought it into the forefront of my mind.

I was walking up the hill from my dorm to meet someone and head for dinner. This car went by me slowly and I saw three little girls biking across the parking lot. I remember thinking, "I hope the driver is aware..." As I was walking and watching and thinking, I saw one girl ride right out in front of the car. The driver had plenty of time to stop and was going super slow, but just didn't see the girl, and he hit the tire of her bike. She of course fell right over. The driver got out (I think he was a basketball player) and some other basketball players ran over. I was trembling so hard, but I was also thinking that God definitely put me there for a reason. One of the guys picked the girl up and helped her walk over to the sidewalk (yes, she was ok), but then they were just all standing there without a clue. They didn't know what to do, and I certainly didn't know what to do, but God was with us. I helped the girl sit down and called her parents. At this time, a security guard had made her way over and was talking with the driver. The girl had hurt her knee and hip, and was crying. After the phone call, I was able to just sit with her and comfort her and her friends while we waited for the mom and while the security guard was working on some of the "legal" stuff. Fortunately, this story has a happy ending, but it was so scary.

Anyway, in light of this, I was really forced to think about how much I have to rely on God. I just don't get it half the time. God is in total control, and I have none. All of my plans are subject to God's approval and His perfect plan. This experience shook me up a little and made me think. Overall, though, God is so good, and I shouldn't have any hesitations in letting myself go in the perfectness of His plan. It is a freeing truth, but a hard one to learn.

Old Testament

I just have to say that I am fascinated by my Old Testament class. Although the professor (a pastor) is much better at preaching than at teaching, I am captivated by all he has to say...which is a lot. I just sit there for almost three hours totally engrossed in the topic. He often strays from what we are supposed to be covering, so we have to keep on top of the reading, but what he does cover is interesting and relevant.

We spent last class talking a lot about death. I think part of the reason I like this guy so much is because he is obviously a strong man of God who is concerned for the souls of his students. He labors over the Gospel and in presenting it to us. Because this class is required for graduation, there are a lot of people in it who would rather be anywhere else. However, he handles it well and it's great.

Anyway, as far as updates go, college is great, I'm still running, and things are starting to settle in! Thank you for your prayers.

'Til another day...

Shocker

I have picked up running.

Let me just pause for a moment.

Let that sink in.


Actually, can I say that again??

I have picked up running.

I'm shocked.

Enough said.

College

Hello from Belhaven!!! I have been so busy that I have hardly had any time to spend blogging. This week has been packed with activities already, and classes just started today!! Anyway, I thought I would just share some reflections and tell y'all a little about this week, if you're interested.

Wow. I can't believe it's finally here! It's insane. O.k., so probably the most fun I've had so far was doing the huge slip and slide that started at the top of the "bowl" and slid into it. It was huge, steep, and awesome. I got very wet and soapy and sore (it hurts to move my arms and neck...), but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I think it is going to be hard to not overload myself with activities. There is so much to do on top of classes and homework, plus there is always things done "on the fly." As far as classes go, I have a pretty easy schedule. For instance, on Thursdays (like today), I only have one class, and it is done by around 10:30-ish. I only have one eight o'clock class (on Fridays). I am done by 2 (at the latest) everyday, except for Tuesday when I have a night class. I'm looking forward to the semester, and for all the different friends and fun things, etc....

I would like to ask for prayer as I go headfirst into the semester. Belhaven's president challenged us (my freshman class) to rejoice in our trials and problems, which will most definitely come, and to respond to them, not run away. Through them we will gain experience and insight and wisdom. I am not a conflict person. I avoid it if possible. I need prayer that I would stick through and enjoy the ride, complete with all of the problems that come my way. I so desperately want to grow in Christ, and I want to grow in depth of character, but I'm scared and need God's help.

Other than that, I am having tons of fun and am very excited for the rest of the year. I have met a lot of very sweet people here, and I look forward to developing relationships with them. For those of you who do facebook, I will have it by the end of next week. The computer people are working on getting our email accounts set up, so we can't do it now. Also, I would like to post a slideshow of college, but I have to take some pictures first. The campus is so beautiful and so much fun to walk around and enjoy.

Pray also for my stomach, because it doesn't enjoy the food or the climate. That's kind of funny, I know, but also a little annoying.

Part of the reason I've enjoyed this first week so much is because I've gotten to present myself as I am. At home, I have known almost everyone for a long time. As I have grown, my personality has changed, but it's hard to change outwardly among people who have known you since you were about eight. (At least, it is for me.) I don't know if anyone can relate, but here I feel like my true self is actually shown, and I've never really felt that way before (except in my home). And as far as meeting people, everyone is at least friendly to your face. It's not like at public school where you can only talk to a few people because the rest don't care or don't feel like meeting others. At Belhaven, everyone is introducing themselves to everyone else and making friends is really easy. I love the environment and the heat and the campus and everything.

Sorry this post is so random. I was just typing thoughts as they came to mind. Hopefully I will get a slideshow posted soon.

Vacation Pictures

Some of these are a little weird, but we had fun doing them!


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Vacation

Hey Everyone!!! Let's hear it for the first post after Aug. 19! Yup, I'm finally here at *gasp* college, but before a post on that I'm going to write a post on our family vacation, leading up to this time.

Note Bene: This is mainly for the benefit of my family. Don't feel obliged to read the whole thing. If you do, don't be alarmed if you are so bored that a game of Monopoly seems fast paced and exciting. We had an excellent time, but I just wanted to share some reflections.

Day 1: Thursday
Leave at 8:30 (goal was 8), stop at Dad's parents at 1-ish, then go to Mom's parents for night. Arrive there 6-ish. (Make really good time.)
Highlights: Last visit before college...good 'cause it's been awhile; real beds and comfortable place to sleep; really good food.
Lowlights: Car...; seeing my poor aunt, saying goodbye.

Day 2: Friday
Leave grandparent's at 9:30 (aimed for 9). Travel stops here and there, until pulling into our hotel at close to 10 p.m.
Highlights: Bug-nicknames (mine was "Lizard-breath"); iPod; HOV lane; Starbucks : ); sleep; really comfortable bed at hotel*; 'You've Got Mail' on TV.
Lowlights: Really cramped legs; more goodbyes; really looooonnnnnngggggg day...

Day 3: Saturday
Leave around 9:30 again (goal 9). Travel travel travel travel...reach destination around 4:30-5-ish.
Highlights: fairly o.k. continental breakfast; lots of sleep in car; McDonald's coffee (ok, too bad Starbuck's was yesterday); lots of rain and thunder to drive through (pretty awesome); nice Applebee's dinner.
Lowlights: Not avery good place to be in (stuff falling apart, a promised room-switch tomorrow); don't feel too good; huge scary bridge to cross multiple times, missing crucial turn;...

Day 4: Sunday
Wake up around 9:50, church at 11, only Dad goes...walk, swim, rain, rain, rain, movie.
Highlights: Move to a slightly better suite (ok, so much better); quick swim in huge outdoor pool in the rain; drive to grocery store and get cool food; great spaghetti dinner; Whoonu game.
Lowlights: Still don't feel very good; a tired, lazy, let's-sit-around-and-talk-about-what-we-can-do day (but of course not really doing anything) (not my personality...).

Day 5: Monday
Wake up after 10, eat breakfast, plan to take a day out on the "town", beach, pool, another island for dinner/shopping.
Highlights: Scaring gulls into a very fast sidestep so they could get away but still keep me in sight (very funny...had to be there); fun gift shops; really warm ocean water and really hot exfoliating sand scrub for feet; beautiful sunny day (hurrah!!); good icecream at a quaint olde shoppe; flavored tootsie rolls (fav. vanilla); excellent dinner at a not-so-ingeneously named restaurant: Gnat's Landing; beautiful starry sky.
Lowlights: Head ache; late late late start to day; lots of driving and stopping and piling in and out of car...

Day 6: Tuesday
Late morning, beach at 12 until around 3, showers, minigolf, Outback, laundry.
Highlights: "The shelf" jokes; hole in one; bigger waves; large dinner; water (fresh); beautiful day.
Lowlights: Currently sporting the "Lobster-red" look, lots of icky sand and gross saltwater. (At the very public showers some girls offered me the use of their shampoo...very, very tempting.)

Day 7: Wednesday
Last full day, after we decided that driving 700 miles in one day was an insanity, especially for our family. (Good move, I say.) Sunrise (I slept through); 9 o'clock nature walk (slept through that one, too); breakfast; beach; fake nails; in-home dinner; packing; drive to driftwood beach.
Highlights: Beautiful day, saw another youthgroup on beach (good memories); called Lea; lots of pictures (beach mode works best); found a funny comic; good family time.
Lowlights: Deeper burn; soles of feet burned...ouch (don't ask).

Day 8: Thursday - Day 10: Saturday and Belhaven!!
"On the road again..."


*I had horrible sleeping time, so the times I got a good night's sleep are really important and monuemental (sp?) to my time...:)

I will post a slideshow as soon as I finish it.

college news

Does anyone out there have any do's or don'ts of college?? Anything I should watch out for??

This will be up until I leave...

Update...

Ok, so this is probably the last post between now and college. My next will be a quick recap of vaca with my fam, and then a short review of the first week at school. We leave August 10 to head down, stopping at grandparents' and an island of the coast Georgia along the way.

Please pray for me as I head off, for two things:

1) That I would have wisdom discerning truth. I think that going to a Christian school would be so easy for me to cop out on discernment. However, I think a lot of people will claim to be "Christian" and have very skewed ideas of theology. They will have a perfect argument, too, with a Biblical backup and everything. My prayer is that I would not be led astray from the truth of the Gospel, and that I would have discernment enough to distinguish God's Word from man's.

2) In light of number one, I would like prayer that I would not become arrogant about my knowledge of the Bible. I have been so blessed to grow up in a church that preaches the Gospel and that takes pains to make sure the Gospel is taught to everyone and through every ministry. However, my knowledge of God is so small compared with what's out there and especially in comparison with God's depth of character. Nonetheless, my knowledge is probably more than what a lot of the freshmen will have. I need to not be arrogant. I want to be continually humbling myself before God. I need to be reminded that I am a speck on a bigger speck that is in a small speck of God's huge and wonderful creation.

Thank you so much, and a special thanks to all of those in my church body. I would not be where I am if you all were not a part of the picture. It is because of my immediate church body that I came to faith, and it is because of that same body that I have grown in the way that I have. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you, God, for all the blessings you have showered down on me.

Poetry

I know this poem is a little old, since I posted it on Lea's and my blog, but I like it so much that I wanted to post it here. Forgive me if it bores you to tears.

A tiny soul inside of me
Strives to grow and bloom.
But a problem arises and I can see
That what my soul opens to is a stormy gloom.

This tiny soul inside of me
Is battered in the open sea
For growing, it is to be—
Exposed—in spite of me.

My tiny soul inside of me
Gets lost once it’s outside,
But through its acquaintance from without,
It returns home much refined.

For my tiny soul was never fully grown;
Nor will it ever be.
But it constantly passes through fire full blown,
Leaving dross in the ash and the gold to see.

These journeys that my tiny soul takes
Are full of joy, pain, sorrow and life,
But these journeys only add wisdom and knowledge,
And my sanctified soul emerges through the strife.

Brotherly Affection

So today my brother came up to me and gave me a big hug. (He's six)

We were standing on the stairs. He looked up at me, then looked at my chest, then back to me and then to my chest again. After a few seconds, he said, "Oh, hey, look! There's your collarbone."

Weird, huh??

(totally out of the blue)

Youth Retreat, Part II: The Reflection(s)

1 John 2:15-17 "Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever."

First, I have to start by saying that this was, by far, the very best youth retreat I have ever been on. And I've been on a lot (like, maybe seven of the eight years it has existed). The talks were amazing, the set-up was hard but fun, my tent girls were a lot of fun, and relationships were developed and expanded. However, it wasn't all easy and fun for me. As I am processing the week, here are a few of my thoughts and reflections as to how everything went.

As a bit of background, I went this year as a college kid...my second official initiation into being considered "college-aged." As part of my job description, I got to lead a junior high girls tent. Also, I got to go down to camp a day early to help set up, and I was able to serve in various capacities throughout the week. Maybe, though, on the offchance of someone reading this blog who has no idea of what the Youth Retreat is, I'll offer a short explanation of the actual event. Our church's youth group spends one week of every summer down at a camp in New Hampshire. We have a theme to follow each year and Bible studies to do each morning, followed by a Bible study before lunch and then a talk in the evening. In between, we have tons of fun swimming in the pond, playing volleyball and ultimate frisbee, taking walks and runs, and having meaningful conversations. It's a huge operation; this year we had 85 campers with a ton of "adults" (yeah, I count as one of those, now). The most we had at one time was 130 people. Wow! I can't even begin to explain how blessed I am because of our youth ministry and our leaders, as well as the amazing servant mentality that all of the adults had/have towards everyone, both other adults and kids included. (Um, just to let you know, this might get a little long...)

O.K., back to reflections...

1. The theme this year was centered around 1 John 2:15-17, talking about "wine, women and wealth." We spent a day each on the "lust of the flesh," the "lust of the eyes," the "boastful pride of life," and the "world is passing away." The talks were very well done by our pastor, youth minister, and an elder. The talks were convicting, especially the one about the boastful pride of life. I was convicted of more pride in my life (big surprise) and was shown a little more clearly how that pride plays out in my life. Hard stuff, but very good.

2. This year's group of junior high girls is a large group, 20 total, and a hard group. They are all wonderful girls who have sparkling personalities and are a lot of fun to play with. However, there are only three Christians in the group, and the rest seem disinterested (but I obviously don't know their hearts). This made for interesting but discouraging Bible studies and discussion groups. One of the studies I did, focusing on the Boastful Pride of Life, was a complete flop. It was very obvious that the girls were trying to avoid the study at all costs. One excuse was that they needed more than the hour allotted to them to finish their study, which had previously taken between 5 and 15 minutes to finish. I found out later that they had employed their time by making friends with the squirrels that had been visiting the inside of our tents on a regular basis. During the actual discussion, I finally just said: "Ok, let's just close up our Bibles and studies and let's talk about what's going on. *cheery smile, try not to look too desperate* So, whatcha'll thinkin' about?" One girl was studiously following an ant around the table and finally succeeded in squishing it. The conversation that followed went along these lines:
"I'm thinking about squishing ants." (the ant squisher)
"Oh?" (me)
"Ewww...." (other girls)
"Um, just what about ant-squishing intrigues you??" (me)
"Well..." (girl)
"Well, there's this food chain thing going on. It's kind of weird. There are these animals that eat other animals, and then are other animals that eat those animals. And hey, humans are on top of it all!" (another girl)
"Hmm...How do you think this whole food chain thing fits in with God's plan for us??" (me)
"Well, we certainly aren't like ants." (another girl)
"Or, maybe we are kind of like ants in God's kingdom, cause we're kind of at the bottom." (me)
"What??!" (other girls)
"Well, we are all these little specks running around on earth." (me)
"But we aren't squished." (girl)
"Well actually, I guess you could say that ultimately we are squished in hell, if we haven't given our life to Christ." (me)
"You know, I really like how you turned that around so we were talking about God again..." (another girl to me)

Oh, was it that obvious???

3. In light of the studies, I was reflecting back on my days of being in junior high, and actually came away more encouraged than before. I was remembering what an ugly sinner I was (and still am, though in a more nuanced way) and how that affected my relationships. I was a brand new Christian back then and I still had a long way to go in the area of pride shown in my bossiness. Seeing some of myself in these girls, I was encouraged, because these girls could have beautiful hearts in six, seven, or eight years. They could be the new leaders. They could be talking about and praying for the junior high. Seeing it all in that perspective was uplifting, both in seeing how far God has brought me, as well as seeing the potential in these precious girls. God was kind in opening my eyes to this.

4. "Maybe God has chosen to use your experiences this week to grow you, not to show immediate growth in the girls in your tent. You might be planting seeds, you might be watering, but maybe this week is more about Elisabeth's relationship with God than anything else." These are some wise words spoken to me by my pastor, also helping with the discouraging factor. And he was right, to some extent. Though the serving factor was great, I could not neglect God's teaching in my life.

I'll end there, for now. Thanks for reading through this!

To read a day by day reflection/journal, go here.

To see two ridiculous pictures, go here (2006 Youth Retreat in the bag). You might have to scroll down a bit.


BTW, I'm a little baffled. How does calculus fit in theology?? I thought I had escaped that for the summer!

Youth Retreat, Part I: The Pictures

For your amusment...

I'm going to be gone for a week, so I thought I would put up a video for you to amuse yourselves with. I'm not sure that this at all proves my point (that soccer is worth something), but it's pretty funny footage, anyway. That is, if you can tolerate soccer.





Enjoy!!

We Are Called To Die

"We are called to die." We are not called to live an easy, comfort filled life, practicing our religion from the cozy confines of our home. We are called to die. We are not called to live.

As a Christian who likes my own comforts, I often forget about our true calling in Christ. I forget that it is not my will, but God's will. I forget that I am to be following hard after Christ, not myself. I have read most of Thomas A Kempis' book "Of the Imitation of Christ," and after recently flipping through it again, I came across this short passage:

"'He that followeth Me, walketh not in darkness,' (John 8:12) saith the Lord. These are the words of Christ, by which we are admonished how we ought to imitate His life and manners, if we will be truly enlightened, and be delivered from all blindness of heart. Let us therefore our chiefest endeavour be, to meditate upon the life of Jesus Christ. [...] But whosoever would fully and feelingly understand the words of Christ, must endeavour to conform his life wholly to the life of Christ. [...] Vanity it is, to wish to live long, and to be careless to live well. It is vanity to mind only this present life, and not to foresee those things which are to come. It is vanity to set thy love on that which speedily passeth away, and not to hasten thither where everlasting joy abideth. [...] Endeavour therefore to withdraw thy heart from the love of visible things, and to turn thyself to the invisible" (3-4).

Conforming our lives wholly to that of Christ's is not an easy calling. Taking up the cross and following Him is definitely not my first tendancy. However, it is rewarding and promises eternal gain with God. I have been blessed to be able to participate in some summer seminary classes through my church. One of the classes focuses on the history of the Church, specifically on the history of doctrine. The other class is an intensive study on the book of Ephesians. Coupled with both of these classes is a focus on ministry and on missions and what our role in that area should be. Last night we talked about our true calling, and for me it was a sweet time of being realigned with my purpose in Christ. Like I said before, so often I lose sight of what's important. I get caught up in the present and in my pride. I get caught up in the fact that my life might comprise of one embarrasing moment to the next. I start to focus on making my own life worthwhile to me, forgetting that that is God's job. Should I be chosen to physically die in this life for the sake of the Gospel, then that is God's perfect will and plan. I only pray that I would be willing and courageous to take up my cross. All other things pale in comparison to God's perfection and holiness. My life of mistakes does not matter. It lasts only for a moment. What matters is whether me is my focus, or God. Wow. Being called to die is huge, but being called to die for Christ is a call worth answering. Let us, let me, as Christians in the 21st century, not be afraid to wholly and completely trust in God, knowing that our calling is not in vain.

We were having an unofficial photo contest for the night, and I think I pretty much won with the coolest still shot of my coffee...

So, once more

...I'm trying out this email-your-post-to-your-blog thing and seeing how
it works. This is pretty lame, I know, but bear with me as I explore
new horizons and expand my internet prowess. I promise something much
more interesting in the near future, like maybe my adventures at
daycare, or something like that. Here goes the trial post!!

So...

...who's going on the Youth Retreat???? ONLY A WEEK AND ONE HALF AWAY!!!!!!

WMD's Found?...

So there's this great article on the Fox News Report about how there have been hundreds of Weapons of Mass Destruction found in Iraq. Unfortunately, all of the other major liberal-run news networks are keeping this breaking news on the d-l, not even mentioning it, either in the news papers, websites, or on t.v. I can't believe it!! Although, considering that they have all proclaimed Bush to be a liar until now probably doesn't make that news good for them. This is terrible. Spread the news!!!!!!!!! I'm actually really shocked, because this means that either Fox is lying, or that no one else is covering huge news that would really change a lot of things, both in the White House and in America. Wow. It's really shocking.

Disaster in My Room

So, I'm sitting here in the middle of my floor, surveying the disaster around me. I'm not sure if it could be classified as tornado-style or hurricane-style, but it definitely needs some work. Seriously, my room is a total mess and I am trying to get it cleaned up. The thing is, I can't work well in a messy environment. For the past few weeks, I have been entering my room only to get what I need to work on out or to sleep. I have been doing my work in various places around the house, finding adequate surface area that I can't find on my desk anymore. It's driving me insane! I know this is stupid, but if you could pray first that I would be diligent about cleaning up my space and not letting it overwhelm me, and second that I would not be too obsessed about cleanliness, that would be wonderful. I'm going off to start that task now, because I actually have a couple of hours of free time!! This probably seems really silly to most of you right now, but it's been eating away at my sanity, and I felt moved to write about it before I begin the process.

grajuashun

i just grajuaded i hop that sumer wil be fun and that i wil do good in colege

Ok, I can't keep that up for long. It's hard to type badly after years of being taught the correct way to write. Yep, I'm done and moving on. It's so exciting!! Thanks to all of those who came to the party, who came to the ceremony, who congratulated me, and who just said hi in general. It's been a great weekend!!

High School and Beyond!!

Graduation is this Saturday!!!! Wow. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that I have been waiting four years for this moment, and it is less than a week away. I suppose I should learn a lesson here: don't live for tomorrow, but for the day I'm in, because it is good and it is from God. That way I can completely enjoy life and have joy in God's creation!

On a different note, I am doing a study of Ephesians right now through NETS and it is really cool. I would definately recommend reading through Ephesians comprehensively, carefully going through each passage and trying to really figure out what it means. There is so much there!! I'm really enjoying it.

Neringa

Unlike my last Thursday-Friday-Saturday away from home, this weekend I had a blast. I went with my dad and three of my siblings to Neringa, a family camp in southern VT that is run by Lithuanian nuns (I think). Many families from church go there once a year to spend time worshipping the Lord and fellowshipping with other believers. The camp is set in a very beautiful, peaceful woods where it is easy to slip away to spend time alone with God, both in His Word and in prayer. It was really refreshing and I am so thankful that we were able to go.

This year's topic was "Mortification of Sin." It's kind of a scary topic, but an essential one. I was struck by the hugeness of the task of killing sin. We looked at a sermon by John Owens and just spent some time talking about having the power to kill sin in our lives because of Christ Jesus. I was convicted about my own lack of agression in going after sin and in failing to recognize it. I usually take a more passive approach. God will show me a sin, I will acknowledge it, and then I will let it go. I do not immediately go after it with my full armor on. My prayer is that God would give me the grace and humility to be a better mortifier of my soul. It's not easy, and I definately need to pray to be willing to pray that in the first place. Anyway, I came away recharged with a lot of food for my brain, to digest and use accordingly.

On Persecution

I've been thinking about today's sermon and I really felt challenged by it. It was on persecution and how as Christians we should expect and accept persecution because of the Gospel. Persecution is really key to our faith. We should be prepared to follow Christ both in His joy and in His sorrow. Obviously we can't experience either in full, at least not now, but we can follow in our Perfect Master's footsteps. After the sermon we were talking about what makes us so reluctant to share the Gospel. I think that for me, a lot of it has to do with pride. Also, I don't really have the right perspective. When I miss an opportunity, I don't think that the person I could have talked to is going to hell. That's just not on my radar. I forget that I will not lose in the end; they will. I also forget that I'm not presenting myself in any way, but Christ. So I really don't have any excuse. The sermon was really good and I pray that I might be more willing to follow the cross, to follow Christ, and to ultimately and wholeheartedly throw myself into spreading His amazing Word.

Katrina Regurgitation

So, apparently immigration isn't too big of a deal. I will refrain from adding my comments. Instead, I wanted to share some of my pictures that I took down in Mississippi just about three or four weeks ago. (nota bene: these are with a disposable camera.) I think that we are prone to brush these things aside after a few weeks or months, but the reality is that people are still suffering greatly from Hurricane Katrina. These are pictures of some of the destruction.




Ok, so this is just a cool pic of a tractor. It's the house in the background that was damaged and that some of us got to work on.


We drove by this place on our way to New Orleans. It is right by the coast.


This is a random, decripit, abandoned truck that says "USE ME FREE!" on the front.



A car and boat completely totaled.


It's kind of hard to tell, but this is a Walmart with the bottom completely washed out. All that's left is some of the roof and the supports.

Immigration

So, I was wondering if anyone felt like sharing their opinions on all of the illegal immigration controversies that have been so prevalent in the news and congress. I haven't followed it much, but we did have a pretty intense, opinionated discussion about it in class the other day. We played "four corners" where a statement is read and then everyone goes to a corner depending on whether they agree, strongly agree, disagree, or strongly disagree. What made it especially interesting and tense was that we had two ladies from Bosnia in our class.

One of the statements was: "Immigrants in general are taking jobs away from Americans." Keep in mind, these were open--we were free to agree or disagree, as long as we had a reason.

Another one was a scenario: "If a country falls into economic crisis, the U.S. should allow people from that country to immigrate to the U.S." It was not specified if there would be a certain quota or not.

The one that caused a lot of controversy, though, was this: "Immigrants in the U.S. have to know the English Language."

I know that this doesn't deal specifically with the illegal immigration problem, but with immigration in general. I will post my opinions tomorrow, or when I get the chance. Any thoughts, or is this a topic that most people have pushed aside???

Hey

Hi again!! I'm back...I wasn't gone very long, but the days were tremendously long and tiring, so it seems like ages ago since I last saw a computer. Pretty dumb, I know, but true.

I just got back from the 70-something annual Vermont All State Music Festival in Bennington, VT. I had the priviledge of rehearsing and performing with the 200+ person chorus. This year was by far the best according to the sound, effects, and music that we were able to produce. We had a good conductor, and it went well. It was exhausting, though. Singing all day for three days is not very good at all.

I had a good time, but only as far as the singing goes. This year more than ever I felt a huge contrast between myself and all of the other kids there. There were only three Christians in the entire ensemble, at least that I was aware of. I felt very alone. I could feel the gap that was between me and my fellow singers. It was sad, especially after such a wonderful missions trip with my church. I can't really discribe how disappointing it was to be at All States. Yes, the singing was great, but I really longed for the Christian fellowship that I am blessed with up here at home. This experience has made me really thankful for the strong Christian church that I can be a part of and for the bond that I have with all of my friends through Christ. It also made me really excited to go to a Christian school this fall. It will be such a difference from my school here.

You Know You're...

Ok, so these are dumb, but pretty funny. (If you're a Vermonter...)

Emotions

You know, everytime I think I have myself figured out, something else happens and I feel like I have no idea about how I work, whether it's another sin or another emotion that I have to deal with. I just went through the painful lesson of learning that I like to keep stuff inside, not acknowledging that I have a sensitive emotional side of me. I like to be strong and in control, not burdening others or myself with my emotions. I learned that building it up is bad and that there are both physical and emotional punishments for doing that. I learned this over the Katrina trip, and then thought that I was all good to go. No problem!! From thenceforth, I would never fail to deal with emotions right away, letting nothing build up. Ha. Pretty funny. I wish my soul would obey my mind sometimes, and viceversa.

So I came back from the trip with high expectations as to my emotional well-being. I had been realigned in the process and was ready to recuperate. Unfortunately, I was not as well prepared as I thought I should be. I went through this past week with a dogged determination, just trying to get through an intense school schedule while dealing with my siblings and working with my grandparents while my mom had surgery and while my dad stayed at the hospital with her. With the stuff going on at school and then all of the things going on at home, I was left with very little time to talk with anyone outside of the family or think about what I was putting myself through. Yes the week was rough, but it wasn't bad. It was hard, but so much harder for my mom and my dad and for others, especially for those who are not Christians in our family. However, I didn't create time to go through simple steps in realizing what I was going through. I thought I was doing fine with it all.

Well, I faced the consequences of holding back my emotion today in church. Looking back, it was all very funny, because I pretty much started bawling and almost got hysterical. The share service was so powerful. All of it seemed to be exactly what I needed to hear, which kind of let loose some of my pain. Fortunately, a very kind woman let me go out to her car with my best friend and we just talked for a little bit. It was a little embarrasing, especially when I was a little out of control, but it was what I needed all along. If I can only learn to acknowledge myself before it bursts out with such passion, I think I can save myself unneeded pain and I would be better adept at helping others.

Anyway, I'm back at that point where I know nothing about myself. It kind of scares me. If I can't figure myself out, what am I going to do in my life?? Oh well. This is probably a good experience and hopefully I will take something away from it this time. Pray that I would trust in God's promises and that I would truly walk by faith, not by sight.

Here's what was on top of our bulletin today:

"Trust HIM when dark days assail thee,
Trust HIM when thy faith is small.
Trust HIM when - to simply trust HIM
Is the hardest thing of all."

As you can imagine, that was pretty powerful.

Also, here are the words of a song that really spoke to me. God must have known that I needed to hear all that I did today.

"What You began, You will finish;
By Your strong hand I will prevail
Every trial, You work in it,
And Your faithfulness can't fail.
Though I do not claim to understand
The mysteries of Your sovereign plan,
I know the good work You begain-
You will finish.

You are the One who works in ways I cannot grasp.
You are the One who knows my prayers before I ask.
Why should I doubt You when without You I'd be lost?
When I am tossed on the sea, You bring me back to the land,
And what You began.

You are the One who will work all things for my good.
You are the One who guards my path before I look.
Why should I try to walk by sight and not by faith?
Lord give me the grace to have a childlike trust in Your plan,
And what You began."

What You Began
by Dave Fournier

Yea!! Back to a Version of Normalcy

I've received two blessings today: I finished my AP Test Marathon and my mom returned home from the hospital!! I am exhausted, but so is every one else. It's been a crazy week, but it has also been good. The surgery went well, as far as the doctors can tell. It will be a long recovery, but at least it is over with. Continue to pray as they all decide what the next treatment will be, etc.

Anyone have good movie suggestions?? I'm looking particularly for comedy. We can always use more of that!!

I'm Back!

Hi Everyone!

I had a very good trip, and I can only say that because of God's grace. With the emotions and physical stress that I have been dealing with lately, I became very physically exhausted during the trip. Because of that, I was able to learn a lot about myself and about my needs and how I can best take care of myself. I was also able to have many good conversations with the women on the trip. They prayed with me, they let me cry with them, and they lent an ear to listen to me talk through what I've been going through. By the end of the week my emotions had been realigned and now I am doing much better, although still going through the physical outworking of it all. It was hard and painful, but good overall. Thank you to all of you who were praying for the trip.

We were able to get a lot of work done on four different houses. We had such a large crew so we had to split up into four different work teams. It was fun and interesting working with a certain group of girls who I haven't really worked much with before. I enjoyed it, and God was so good both individually and to our group as a whole. When I get my pictures back I will post some.

Please continue to pray for my mom. She goes into surgery this Tuesday. I also have three AP tests this week, and then All States Music Festival next week. Pray God's strength will sustain me and my family, as I know it will.

Thank You! It's good to be back on the computer after a week. I'm not sure that's a good thing...

Trip to the South

Well, I will not be updating for the next week or so because I will be traveling down to Mississippi with my church. We are going to help the organization down there rebuild houses in Gulfport, Mississippi. I am really excited to be going!

Please pray for us (there are around 57 going) and pray that the journey would be safe. Pray that we would go forth with a heart ready and willing to work to the glory of God and not for our own pride. Pray for me as I am recovering from a nasty virus, probably brought on from recent travels and late nights trying to make up homework. Pray that God would give me and others strength. Thanks!

Also, I decided to go to Jackson, Mississippi for college next year!! To read the cool story, click here. The college is called Belhaven College. It's small, but the campus is somewhat sprawling.

Open Floor

I've been playing a game with me, myself and I. Actually, it's something that I talk about frequently with others (which is where most of the game comes from), but I just now made it into a game and was wondering if anyone wanted to join. Here's what it is: How is my mom's cancer good?

Yeah, that probably wasn't as exciting as you thought it might be, but for me, it's pretty cool to know that I have a caring God who does everything in my life for my own good. It follows, then, that my mom's trials are good. What doesn't always follow is my clarity of sight. I tend to look for good in bad situations generally, but then to actually believe that what is good is really good is a whole different matter. (I know that's confusing) Anyway, this is a fun game (when I'm in the right mood) and my prayer would be that I would really know that it is good, not just say it.

Here's one reason why it is good (My mom and I were talking about this one together): We have a situation in my extended family where one person has cancer. The whole situation is very difficult, particularly for the parents, and then for my parents who sort of know what they are going through. My mom was trying to encourage them to know that God has a reason for the cancer and to trust in God completely. My mom was relating some of her past experiences and letting them know that she was praying for them. She sent them some good material, some of which included John Piper's "Don't Waste Your Cancer." Just after my mom had done the bulk of this sharing, she found out about her cancer. Now she has the cool opportunity to practice what she was "preaching" and we're praying that God would use the words of my parents backed up by the actions to encourage and comfort and provide hope for them. My mom thought that God had given her more cancer to be able to reach out to these people better. Isn't that cool?

Maybe this is a bad game and that wasn't even interesting, but I will probably post more in the future. If anyone would like to share, please do.

And to close, HAPPY EASTER!!

"Christ the Lord is risen today, Alleluia!
Sons of men and angels say: Alleluia!
Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluia!
Sing, ye heav'ns, and earth reply, Alleluia!

Soar we now where Christ has led, Alleluia!
Following our exalted Head; Alleluia!
Made like Him, like Him we rise; Alleluia!
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies. Alleluia!"

Amen.

(Charles Wesley)

And I, in my naivete, thought Vermont was "liberal"...

So my dad and I had a wonderful trip down to the deep south to look at Belhaven College in Jackson, Mississippi. However, it was a very quick and tiring trip. We got up early to leave on Tue. morning only to have our flight canceled at the last minute, already well past the time it was supposed to leave. But, God was most certainly watching over us, as He provided us with another flight. One of our friends from church was working at the airport and was very kind to us in trying to work out another route. We arrived in New Orleans and then drove up to Jackson, which took about three hours. We didn't get to the college until about 7:30 their time, 8:30 ours. (We left our house at 5:30 that morning). At the college I got to go to an RUF meeting and then some intramural volley ball games, then bed. In the morning, I had a wonderful campus tour, I got to see Lizby, and I had lunch with an excellent journalism professor. It was really an amazing time. Then, we went back to New Orleans, stayed overnight and got up at 4:00 in the morning to fly home. Now, here I am, very tired and not feeling good, but well pleased in the trip and so happy and fulfilled with God's goodness to me. It could have gone much worse, but He was pleased to grant us a smooth trip with virtually no issues.

Anyway, about the naivete piece...um... well, since my dad and I stayed in New Orleans for a night, not only did we see a lot of what Hurrican Katrina had done, but we also got to walk around the city for a bit, even though my legs were probably going to fall off. (just kidding.) We were eight blocks from Bourbon Street, so we decided to check it out, looking for a place to eat.

Well, we certainly were not prepared for what met us there. There was so much profanity! It was very blatant and out there, not at all concealed. We would pass shops where t-shirts with many swear words were openly displayed and a lot with not a hint of modesty. Almost every other doorway opened into a bar, and most of them were not fit for any one to even see advertised. And the worst thing was the pride that the people seem to take in Katrina. They have taken America's worst natural disaster and made into something that they can hold above others in a condescding manner, like somehow they survived and are better off. My heart goes out to those who were so hurt mentally, physically, and emotionally by the hurricane. I don't think that it was the people who really suffered who came up with the idea that Katrina could be a national identity or something to be proud of. It just seems that people are taking delight in something that should not be taken in that manner. So many people are still suffering in various ways. A hurricane is a terrible and mighty thing. I don't understand how it can be turned around in the way that they have turned it. However, I was not affected in the same way that they were by any stretch of the imagination, so I honestly do not want to be too judgemental. Maybe someone can help me understand if I am missing something.

Regardless of what happened with Katrina, Bourbon street was a real eye-opener to me. I saw things that I would never, ever, ever see here. That kind of stuff is probably all over, but I got a really strong dose all at once. I was kind of shocked. By the way, we never found an adequate place to eat, so we just found a SubWay somewhere else. :)

So, if you're looking for a nice, family-friendly vacation area, I wouldn't recommend down-town New Orleans. The area is really pretty, though, and the trees and canals are picturesque. It still needs a lot of work, but a lot has been done towards restoring the area.

A Hymn

I have long admired and loved the book "Stepping Heavenward" by Mrs. Elizabeth Prentiss. The book is a diary of a girl named Katherine and it follows her life and the various trials and tribulations that she has to go through. It starts when she is about 16 and a very rebellious child. It ends with her on her deathbed many years later, a women completely transformed because of Christ's mercy and salvation. Her journey is so sweet and so encouraging for a sinful person. She has the worst times and the best times, she has many tragedies that she goes through, and after she is saved she responds to these adversities and joys in God-glorifying ways. What is best, though, is that she is never perfect. She is continually sanctified into another "level" of Christlikeness, but never perfect. When I read it I am so encouraged and reminded that I am not made to go it on my own, or to try and figure out my sin. I can fully rely on God no matter what. I definately recommend this book for anyone who is struggling in any part of their walk with Christ. And, for the record, I'm primarily speaking to girls. I'm not sure that guys would appreciate it in the same way because they might find it a stretch to identify with an emotional girl/woman. I'm sure there are guy-friendly alternatives.

Here is Elizabeth's Hymn. It is one of my favorites:

MORE LOVE TO THEE

		More love to Thee, O Lord, More love to Thee! Hear Thou the prayer I make On bended knee; This is my earnest plea: More love, O Lord, to Thee, More love to Thee, More love to Thee!
		Once earthly joy I craved, Sought peace and rest; Now Thee alone I seek, Give what is best; This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Lord, to Thee, More love to Thee, More love to Thee!
		Let sorrow do its work, Send grief and pain; Sweet are Thy messengers, Sweet their refrain, When they can sing with me, More love, O Lord, to Thee, More love to Thee, More love to Thee!
		Then shall my latest breath Whisper Thy praise; This be the parting cry My heart shall raise; This still its prayer shall be: More love, O Lord, to Thee, More love to Thee, More love to Thee!

To bring in some humor...

How many CALVINISTS does it take to change a light bulb?
None - God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray that the light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.

How many members of a BAPTIST church does it take to change a light bulb?
TEN - One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much better they liked the old one.

One Last One: (I apologize)

How many UNITED METHODISTS does it take to change a light bulb?
In response to that question the denomination issued the following statement: "We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark source), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long life, halogen, and tinted -- all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."

( I found these at HCC Humor.)

Pray, pray, pray! And my heart will still say that GOD IS GOOD

I've been doing a lot of thinking about prayer, in light of general and specific large things going on in my life right now. I have been particularly struck by how the Bible emphasizes prayer and how we should be praying continually. Also, we are blessed through prayer. We have an intimate relationship with God through prayer. We can do nothing without God, therefore we can do nothing without prayer. Even though I might not know how to pray, I still need to pour my heart out before God and be continually seeking Him. Here are a few verses that I have looked at:

"The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26

"Pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1Thessalonians 5:17-18 (emphasis added)

"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. ... pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:15-16

"So we fasted and petitioned our God about this, and he answered our prayer." Ezra 8:24

"The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer." Psalm 6:9

"The prayer of the upright pleases [the Lord]." Proverbs 15:8b

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present you requests to God." Philippians 4:6

"He answered their prayers, because they trusted in Him." 1 Chronicles 5:20


Sorry that went on for a bit, but they are beautiful and assuring passages of Scripture. Prayer is so essential to my life, and yet I must confess that I do not place it in my "top activities" everyday. And not only that, but I should be praying continually, not sporadically and when I feel like it. I need to not pray based on my feelings and schedule but based on complete humility before God, knowing that if it weren't for Him, I would be a miserable wretch.

There are a few circumstances currently in my life that have brought on this reflection and are things that I would like prayer for.

1st: My mom's breast cancer has returned, for those who have been asking and praying (thank you). We just found out today. After four years of being "cancer-free," it is very difficult for her to have to go through it all again, especially since some time has passed. Although we knew she wasn't guarenteed to be healthy now, there was a fairly good chance. Please pray for my mom and dad as they contemplate the next steps. Please pray for strength and yet a weakness in Christ. Pray also for my siblings. It's hard. Now more than ever is when we all need to be anchoring our souls in the goodness of God. He never promised a perfect life, but He did promise us protection, comfort, and guidance. May we rest in that truth and be thankful.

2nd: This really pales in comparison to the first request, but as I am going to college next year, I need to first make a desicion and then trust the Lord to provide the money. I am confident in His provision, but sometimes it's hard to remember. Please pray also that my family and I would be preparing ourselves for next year, but not obsessively.

Thank you for reading, and for praying.

On a happy note, I just got my All-State music! The music that we get to sing is really pretty.

Btw, I use an NIV Bible.

One closing passage: (It's pretty self-explanitary(I have no idea how to spell that word))

"'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'" Revelation 21:3-4

Amen and Amen.

Trips, etc.

First, a warm welcome and thankyou to all of my new readers. You've pushed me over the 200 hit mark!! (whoopdeedo)

Second, I am leaving on Saturday to go visit a college in Minnesota. Please pray that it would be fruitful and productive, and that I would never veer or stray from God's will. We also will get to visit John Piper's church, which I am so excited about! Although J. Piper is not currently there, I'm still thankful for this opportunity and for the fact that God has provided an amazing church where I might be going this fall.

Another Great Sermon

Well, another Sunday has passed and with it another excellent sermon. ( I know that they are availible online, but I'm not sure how.)

Today's passage was on John 13.

The main point of the passage and of the sermon was this:

Love for the brethren is one of the key distinguishing marks of true faith.

Jesus gives us the greatest example by washing the disciples' feet. Wow.

I came away from the sermon pondering my own view of myself. Do I put myself above servanthood? How can I serve Christ's body more? It is so powerful to think of the church as Christ's body, as an aside.

Anyway, I think I put myself way too much before others, as is my sinful nature. My prayer is that I would be reducing in pride and increasing in Christ--including in His behaviors and spotlessness. I have a feeling that the upcoming Katrina trip will offer a gazillion opportunities to practice this love.

Shakespearian Inspiration

Ok, so this might seem corny, but for my poetry class I wrote a poem inspired by Shakespeare. In AP lit I just finished reading King Lear so the language is in my head. It came out in my poem. I laughed as I wrote this...maybe I just have an odd sense of humor, but I think it is funny. I'm not offended if you think it is just dumb.

Italy

Lush, verdant

The albatross became bodacious…

Oh beauteous verse to mine ear dost lend, but,

What purpose dost the albatross serve?

Does it represent a regal scoundrel, a prince amongst the gulls

Or perhaps just a glimpse of white amongst the green?

And how came it be bodacious?

Art thou bold, oh bird, to make thine artist describe thee as such?

Dost thou steal and pilfer, to earn ye such a name?

Thy mysterious ways have caused no little confusion to thine observers.

And what have ye to say to such accusations?

Louder, my bird, louder!

What?! Doest thou naught but squawk? Come bird, do thy kind better.

I knowest not how thou came to be called bodacious.

Thou, who canst neither speak nor be clever,

Thou who is but a dumb bird and used for naught.

Thee I do banish from this verse

Thee who only dost mars it and wrecks thy country’s beauty.

Farewell young bird, who canst do good, I leave thee forever by the sea.

Italy

Lush, verdant

The elephant…

Aie! When will the injustice given this poor pen end?

O.k., I'm due for an update, but the problem is that my mind is running dry of ideas.

Again.

Oh well, woe is me. (Just kidding!)

I just read one of the most amazingly bitter-sweet stories that I have seen in a long time. It was heart wrenching but Christ-centered. It left me in tears to see how powerful and full of love is Christ yet how He reveals it in different and sometimes sorrowful (to us) ways.

Read it here. (It is Erin's story.)

Musings

I've been reading First and Second Kings lately, and have seen some very interesting points that are tossing around in my mind right now. I just wanted to spill them here.

After David became king, Israel and Judah split. Kings talks about the next forty kings of these two kingdoms. The interesting part is that out of these 40 kings, 30 of them were "evil in the eyes of the Lord." Only 8 of them did what was right and therefore honored the Lord. The other two were not given the evil or right stamp but their actions did not look too favorable.

WOW. Out of 40 Kings, only 8 were right.

Also, there was a distinct "very evil" king (Ahab) and a distinct "very right" king (Josiah).

And again, all of the "right" kings were of the kingdom of Judah, which is where Jesus descended from (right??).

I've been thinking about this a lot and trying to figure out how it fits with the rest of the Bible. It fits in an obvious way, but I'm wondering if I'm missing anything.

REGENERATE OUR CULTURE

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Responsibility

We have been having really weird, unpredictable weather. Hmmm, that would make sense, since this is VT. Last week we had 18 inches of snow in one night and yesterday there was "torrential" rain storms and lots of fog. We lost all of our snow in less than a week!

Oh well.

On Sunday I attended a Cross Training meeting. The discussion varied, but we talked a lot about taking responsibility for our actions under the narrower topic of homosexuality. The Bible is very clear about how we have sinned and are responsible for it, but, praise God, it is also very clear about salvation and hope in Christ. Anyway, as an example of not taking responsibilty, the Stella Awards were mentioned. While these are funny to a certain extent, they are also kind of sad. I mean, when someone starts sueing magicians because he thinks he is "god" and his powers are being taken away, the matter becomes pretty grave. I am tempted to say "how stupid," but it makes me think about how I view responsibility in my life.

Do I take responsibility for the right things and the right reasons? Do I follow through with responsibility? Do I fully admit, in my heart, that my sins are my fault, not the fault of another? Do I take responsibility for my actions seriously?

While I haven't gone around sueing companies and such for very silly things, I know that I am guilty of blameshifting. Responsibility for my actions doesn't always come first. This provides food for thought, especially since most of my actions affect others and have the ability to cause others to stumble.

John 11

Lately our church has been studying John and most recently John 11. (The dead and resurrection of Lazarus.)

This passage is so encouraging to me because it shows how Jesus comes and meets us, we don't have to rise up to some unreachable level to meet Him. He responded to Martha and Mary in the way that each of them needed most. That's really cool.

This has never happened to me before...

O.K, so the other night, I was reading this book The Princess and the Goblins. It's kind of an odd book and I'm not sure I would recommend it, but I haven't finished it, so I can't give a yay or nay.

Anyway...

I had just gotten to the part where the young lad was in the mines at night and was trying to figure out what the goblins were after and why they were pursuing him more than usual. Then I went to sleep.

That night, I dreamed the whole rest of the story. No joke. I knew exactly what the goblins wanted, how they were going to get it, and every other detail. It was perfectly complex, and yet my mind made it all up. I have never read the book before. Now I only remember some of it, but it was intense. That has never happened to me before.

I know that sounds kind of dumb, but it was so vivid and so real and it made sense, which never happens. Amazing.

I'm sure you really wanted to know all of this.

Blogging is so much fun!

This is a really great poem:

The the impotence of proofreading

One Other Thought

There but for the grace of God go I


I'm not sure of the orgin of this phrase, but isn't it powerful??

Political Comments

O.K., so I'm not much of a politician, but I do know that to compare our country's president to Adolf Hitler is not very respectful, nor is it nice.

There are a couple of things wrong with Jay Bennish's lecture. First there is the obvious violation of most school policies, which is for teachers to keep their personal views to themselves while trying to educate their students in a balanced manner. Bennish's lecture does not adequately present both sides of the political arguments about Iraq, Bush, and our world in general. True, he does give a disclaimer, but it doesn't do the trick.

Also, God has commanded us to be respectful to our governing authorities. Not to be repetitive, but the comparison is not meant to be respectful in any way. Bennish probably doesn't have a category for God, but it is a good reminder for those who claim to be Christians, such as myself, that we need to not bash our leaders because that would be bashing God.

"Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor."
Romans 13:1-7

REGENERATE OUR CULTURE

I'm not much at writing promos, but this project seems like it's worth the effort.

Regenerate Our Culture is a project and a vision of four christian teens from around the U.S. Their goal is to regenerate the secular-worldview culture we live in today and turn it back to the Christian-worldview society that our nation was founded upon. The three main areas they want to make changes in are: Politics, religion, and life in general.

To make this project into a reality, these teens are starting a web-magazine in nine days. The magazine will be published on the 1st and 15th of every month. Written by experienced Christian bloggers, this magazine will surely be an internet revolution and will spread throughout the world.

I am excited about this project because, as part of a Christian minority in Vermont, I will get to be in touch with other Christians nationwide and I get to be part of something that our world probably needs at this point.

If you would like to become a sponsor and join the team, click here.

Keep Regenerate Our Culture and the people involved in your prayers. It looks like an exciting yet daunting project. May Christ be glorified through it.

"For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in, malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.
But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared,
He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit."

Titus 3:3-5 (nasb)

I thank God that we have been regenerated by the Holy Spirit.

Vacation

Right now my ear is so plugged that I can't hear out of it. It's really weird. I had to stay home from church today because I am sick, but I wanted to blog a little.

So today is my parent's 23rd wedding anniversary. To celebrate, they decided to go away Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Good! I was so excited for them. However, there is a problem. Their personalities. Seriously! The book Type Talk makes it all clear. They are both "P's" which stands for "Perceivers." The P's are continually looking for new possiblities and are reluctant to nail anything down. That would be my parents. They didn't book any reservations until the day before they left! And they've been planning this for how long?? Come on. Also, I was kind of hoping they would go someplace "exotic," like, say, Stowe or something. That's what they were hoping for. However, again due to personality, they finally settled on the Inn at Essex, not even 5 miles away from the house. "Oh, we meant England..." Yeah, right. "O.K., mom and dad. We'll be sure to visit you each day to make sure you're doing alright and don't need anything." Honestly.

Oh well, I guess they enjoyed it, and we surprisingly didn't bump into each other around town. I'm happy for them, though as the only "J" in the family, I would have planned it out about a month ago.

We got to stay home with a nice young couple from church. It was lots of fun for us! Although, as the oldest of five, I discovered a little more about what it means to be a leader. Especially when everyone looks to me for the discisions and no one can agree and be happy with the same thing. It was interesting.

Anyway, I have to rest up. I'm not going to school tomorrow, but due to the silly strike, we do have makeup days both tomorrow and Tuesday. Blahhhhhh...

Forgiveness

Lately I have been reminded again and again that forgiveness is such a hard action to learn.

Colossians 3:13

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Hmm...

Maybe I'm just not being creative, but I can't think of anything to write about. At least not anything that takes minimal brain power.

Sheep = Stupidity

Sheep are stupid. With nothing guarding them, they tend to wander and get themselves into trouble, like say, attacked by lions or bears or maybe tigers, depending on the part of the world. If they eat all the grass in one small area of the pen, they have to be led to another spot by Someone else. They aren't bright enough to find it on their own. And I know that everyone thinks sheep are fluffy and nice, but they're really dirty and smelly unless they are cleaned. Stuff gets stuck in their wool like crazy. In the summer, they can't shed their fleece, giving them relief from the warmer weather. Let's just say that they aren't very brilliant.

I am a sheep.

Hmm... That doesn't really help my ego, which is good...but hard. I am glad, though, that I have a Shepherd watching over me and that His gate is around me to keep me from wandering and being attacked.

(look at...John 10)

Help?

I was wondering if anyone had any good verses for proving that God the Father = God the Son = God the Spirit. I know that basically all of John proves that God=Jesus and I know that in Acts 6 (I think) it talks about lying to the Spirit and then lying to God and how that's the same, and I know that at the end of 2 Cor., there is a trinitarian (sp.?) benediction, but are there more verses?? If anyone can help me out that would be great. I want to be as prepared as possible for the next time someone tells me that the Bible never actually says right out that there is a Trinity.

Word

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons;
Neither the present nor the future, nor any powers;
Neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation
Will be able to separate us from the love of God
That is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

Amen.

"Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.
This is how God showed His love to us: He sent His only begotten Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: Not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." 1 John 4:8-12

Cool

This bumper sticker caught our (collective) eye:

The Big Bang Theory:

God spoke, and BANG, it happened.

Oh Man

Today was pretty crazy, but it was fun. (I think.)

We started out by going to church at a large Baptist church around the corner. It wasn't very good...it was a little surprising to see the pastor dressed up in a robe. It was pretty formal.

Next we went to a UT women's basketball game. They played against UConn and lost, but it was still exciting, even for a non-basketball fan.

The real fun started, though, when we went to see Peter Pan with Cathy Rigby as the star. This was the last show in Austin, and it was very well done. I'd have to say that the scene changes were better even than Broadway, and that is saying a lot.

My dad ordered tickets to the show ahead of time, on the internet (what would we do without it?). He found some seats based on the little map that they show of the auditorium and they looked like they would be okay. You know, not too pricey, but not a bad view. Well, we arrived, and the ushers said, "Just take the elevator to the sixth floor and some people up there will show you your seats." Oh. Sixth floor??! Who goes to auditoriums six stories high?? We followed the directions/command and arrived at our destination. It was pretty spacious and we didn't see anything to complain about. Until we were shown in. We were a little late (big surprise) so all of the lights were out. There was a nice usher(ette?), though, who took my sister and I under her wing. (My dad was otherwise occupied for the time.) She gave us very careful instructions to follow her closely and to not let go of the rail, whatever happens. Okay. Again, we follow the command and are led to our seats. You know, the seating arrangement reminded me of the old cities that you might see engraven on the side of a mountain: sheer cliffs with little houses carved out of them. Going down the stairs to our seats was like taking a winding narrow staircase down a lighthouse or something. We happened to be seated on the second balcony, apparently six floors up from solid ground, with nothing but a knee high guardrail to protect us from empty theater space. Peter Pan might have been comfortable; we were not. The usherette wouldn't even take us to our actual seats because it was too dangerous; we had to wait until the house lights were up during the intermission. It was so steep and so scary.

We ended up not going to our actual seats. We thought it might be safest to stay as still as possible, not moving too much for the fear that some bigger force would make us jump the rail or push us head over heels into the great abyss. However, not everyone was as concerned about our precarious position as we were. So there was this mother there with her son. The boy was maybe five or six (he kind of reminded me of my brother). He was a typical boy, always looking for adventure. (He can't just watch the boys onstage) During the intermission, while my dad, sister, and I were safely glued to our seats, the mother let her little boy go up to the edge and stand there looking over. If she had been there with him, it might have been okay, but she stayed in her seat, not really paying close attention. By the time we noticed him, he was climbing up onto the railing, trying to do goodness knows what. My dad made some sort of exclamation, and the lady suddenly noticed how her darling was jeopardizing his life. She got him and went back to her seat, looking a little sheepish, while my dad and I were sitting there with our blood running cold. If possible, we were stiffer than before due to fear, and still soundly glued to the seat. (Heights really aren't our forte, and this was really high with no safety.) The lady wasn't very attentive during the rest of the night, and we prayed that there wouldn't be another intermission. There was supposed to be one, but it didn't happen. Later, as we were walking to our car, we saw the same woman and boy, and the boy was about to run into a street were many cars were. Is this a pattern??

I just don't understand.

...

Not to beat the chivalry theme to death, but the men down in Texas are so nice...

God is so Trustworthy

So, we're here in Texas!! My dad decided to take my sister and me with him on his business trip. So far it's been fun, but it has also made us step back and look at how good God is to us.

First, there's the airplanes. Now, there's nothing wrong with them, but given our recent plane history (I mean 9/11) it is always a little bit of a test in faith to be able to get on one. However, that all went well, and we got into the Austin airport and got our luggage and got our rental car.

This is when the fun began. In Austin, a relatively small city, there are many one way streets. Actually the whole city is pretty much comprised of one way streets. It's really confusing. (Burlington doesn't offer much in the way of city knowledge.) Anyway, we were trying to get to our hotel. We found the right streets and were trying to follow them. It wasn't until we turned left when we realized that left wasn't an option. Yeah, it was pretty scary. You know, lots of traffic, horns, and a very surprised driver. But it was also cool, because God gave us a way out. On this particular street, there were many parking spaces that were open on the side of the road. Even though it was a busy time of day, there was practically another lane made up of parking. God was kind to us. Besides saving our lives, he taught us a good lesson in humility. For my dad, the lesson was kind of obvious, but my sister and I also realized that no matter how much experience we have, we can not achieve perfection. Also, we re-learned that God can be absolutely trusted in whatever situation and He will provide, no matter what His plan. It might not be what we want, but it is good. We got to the hotel without any more troubles.

Besides having to wait for an hour and a half for our room to be cleaned, we had fun looking around the hotel and standing in awe of the 19 story building with scary glass elevators that go up rather quickly. (I'm not fond of heights...there is a pool on the roof, as well) We got to our room and then decided to get a feel for the city and go out for dinner.

Our second adventure happened during this little exursion. Our rental car was brand new and had only had 200-something miles on it. It was really nice. However, the engine pretty much failed in the middle of a huge traffic flow. (That description is probably not technically correct, but the idea is there.) We were able to bump along and swing off onto a side road, but it was obvious that the car was being obstinate and rough. We started again, but the "check engine" light remained, proving that everything was not okay. But again, God provided. We found a little Hertz shop nearby, thanks to the definitive Hertz map that they gave us with the car, and stopped in for help. It was actually a car breakdown service, but it worked with Hertz. We got there just as they were closing, but the men who worked there were willing to help us out. They looked at it and decided to give us a different car so that the Hertz company could work on it. While my sister and I were waiting for my dad to finish "doing business" with the guy, at least two other workers came up to us and asked us if they could help us. Even though they were technically done, they made sure that everything was taken care of. God provided the right people, the right place, the right exchange car, and everything else.

Our day could have ended very differently, but God was so good to provide us with exactly what we needed and took care of us, as He always does. As we were talking about it over dinner, I think we were all amazed and thankful to God. It may seem silly, but sometimes it is so hard to trust God from situation to situation, and it is so easy to panic. God worked with us, though, and proved to us how He can be trusted, which He didn't have to do.

Oops....

I forgot...

the last two lines of the second stanza actually say "Though the storms may come and go, the peace of God you will know."

It's been awhile since I sang the real version.

Say What??

You know when you hear something in the right context, and then it is thrown out of context by some hopefully well-meaning person? For example, in the book A Rumor of War, by Philip Caputo, one of the subtitles to a chapter is a verse from Matthew. (I don't remember the verse) The verse is used completely out of context and I addressed that in a paper that I had to write about the book (about a year and a half ago). The teacher wrote on my paper that not everything has to be used in it's correct context. I can't help but think that he meant the Bible is the only thing that is "o.k." to use out of context. Using something out of context just doesn't make sense.

Anyway, back on track. (Apparently I haven't quite gotten over that.) In my chorus class we sing a nice little refrain as part of our warm-ups. Perhaps some of you are familiar with it:

"Don't build your house on Sandy Land.
Don't build it to close to the shore.
Well, it might be kind of nice,
But you'll have to build it twice,
Yes you'll have to build your house once more.

You've got to build your house upon a rock.
With a strong foundation on a solid spot.
So when the rains come tumbl'n down,
You won't have to build no more."

It's a really cool song, especially in a round. However, in chorus, there is a slight variation on words. Instead of building your house "upon" a rock, you have to build your house "just like" a rock. Now, probably no one in the class even cares, much less knows the backgroud of the song, or what it is referring to, but that one slight variation changes the whole meaning in a huge way.

The song is taken from the parable in Matthew 7, talking about a life with Christ vs. a life without. Building upon the rock is to submit and take delight in Christ's gift of salvation and in recognizing that He is the one who does the life-changing work and that I am incapable of building without Him. Building just like a rock is to try and copy Christ and to take control of life and circumstances, missing the point of the song and parable entirely.

Unfortunately, most of the world falls into the "I can do it" mindset, not even understanding that they are doomed from the start. As I have been thinking about this, I think I need to be admonished for not sharing the gospel more to those who are confused between true salvation and a copycat version that won't last. Also, it serves as a good reminder that I need to not forget that Christ is my foundation. It is so easy to get cocky/proud and then I try to take over the wheel. Not in my life as a whole, but in certain areas. God has been kind to point this out when it happens, even though it is a tough lesson.