Poetry

I know this poem is a little old, since I posted it on Lea's and my blog, but I like it so much that I wanted to post it here. Forgive me if it bores you to tears.

A tiny soul inside of me
Strives to grow and bloom.
But a problem arises and I can see
That what my soul opens to is a stormy gloom.

This tiny soul inside of me
Is battered in the open sea
For growing, it is to be—
Exposed—in spite of me.

My tiny soul inside of me
Gets lost once it’s outside,
But through its acquaintance from without,
It returns home much refined.

For my tiny soul was never fully grown;
Nor will it ever be.
But it constantly passes through fire full blown,
Leaving dross in the ash and the gold to see.

These journeys that my tiny soul takes
Are full of joy, pain, sorrow and life,
But these journeys only add wisdom and knowledge,
And my sanctified soul emerges through the strife.

Brotherly Affection

So today my brother came up to me and gave me a big hug. (He's six)

We were standing on the stairs. He looked up at me, then looked at my chest, then back to me and then to my chest again. After a few seconds, he said, "Oh, hey, look! There's your collarbone."

Weird, huh??

(totally out of the blue)

Youth Retreat, Part II: The Reflection(s)

1 John 2:15-17 "Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever."

First, I have to start by saying that this was, by far, the very best youth retreat I have ever been on. And I've been on a lot (like, maybe seven of the eight years it has existed). The talks were amazing, the set-up was hard but fun, my tent girls were a lot of fun, and relationships were developed and expanded. However, it wasn't all easy and fun for me. As I am processing the week, here are a few of my thoughts and reflections as to how everything went.

As a bit of background, I went this year as a college kid...my second official initiation into being considered "college-aged." As part of my job description, I got to lead a junior high girls tent. Also, I got to go down to camp a day early to help set up, and I was able to serve in various capacities throughout the week. Maybe, though, on the offchance of someone reading this blog who has no idea of what the Youth Retreat is, I'll offer a short explanation of the actual event. Our church's youth group spends one week of every summer down at a camp in New Hampshire. We have a theme to follow each year and Bible studies to do each morning, followed by a Bible study before lunch and then a talk in the evening. In between, we have tons of fun swimming in the pond, playing volleyball and ultimate frisbee, taking walks and runs, and having meaningful conversations. It's a huge operation; this year we had 85 campers with a ton of "adults" (yeah, I count as one of those, now). The most we had at one time was 130 people. Wow! I can't even begin to explain how blessed I am because of our youth ministry and our leaders, as well as the amazing servant mentality that all of the adults had/have towards everyone, both other adults and kids included. (Um, just to let you know, this might get a little long...)

O.K., back to reflections...

1. The theme this year was centered around 1 John 2:15-17, talking about "wine, women and wealth." We spent a day each on the "lust of the flesh," the "lust of the eyes," the "boastful pride of life," and the "world is passing away." The talks were very well done by our pastor, youth minister, and an elder. The talks were convicting, especially the one about the boastful pride of life. I was convicted of more pride in my life (big surprise) and was shown a little more clearly how that pride plays out in my life. Hard stuff, but very good.

2. This year's group of junior high girls is a large group, 20 total, and a hard group. They are all wonderful girls who have sparkling personalities and are a lot of fun to play with. However, there are only three Christians in the group, and the rest seem disinterested (but I obviously don't know their hearts). This made for interesting but discouraging Bible studies and discussion groups. One of the studies I did, focusing on the Boastful Pride of Life, was a complete flop. It was very obvious that the girls were trying to avoid the study at all costs. One excuse was that they needed more than the hour allotted to them to finish their study, which had previously taken between 5 and 15 minutes to finish. I found out later that they had employed their time by making friends with the squirrels that had been visiting the inside of our tents on a regular basis. During the actual discussion, I finally just said: "Ok, let's just close up our Bibles and studies and let's talk about what's going on. *cheery smile, try not to look too desperate* So, whatcha'll thinkin' about?" One girl was studiously following an ant around the table and finally succeeded in squishing it. The conversation that followed went along these lines:
"I'm thinking about squishing ants." (the ant squisher)
"Oh?" (me)
"Ewww...." (other girls)
"Um, just what about ant-squishing intrigues you??" (me)
"Well..." (girl)
"Well, there's this food chain thing going on. It's kind of weird. There are these animals that eat other animals, and then are other animals that eat those animals. And hey, humans are on top of it all!" (another girl)
"Hmm...How do you think this whole food chain thing fits in with God's plan for us??" (me)
"Well, we certainly aren't like ants." (another girl)
"Or, maybe we are kind of like ants in God's kingdom, cause we're kind of at the bottom." (me)
"What??!" (other girls)
"Well, we are all these little specks running around on earth." (me)
"But we aren't squished." (girl)
"Well actually, I guess you could say that ultimately we are squished in hell, if we haven't given our life to Christ." (me)
"You know, I really like how you turned that around so we were talking about God again..." (another girl to me)

Oh, was it that obvious???

3. In light of the studies, I was reflecting back on my days of being in junior high, and actually came away more encouraged than before. I was remembering what an ugly sinner I was (and still am, though in a more nuanced way) and how that affected my relationships. I was a brand new Christian back then and I still had a long way to go in the area of pride shown in my bossiness. Seeing some of myself in these girls, I was encouraged, because these girls could have beautiful hearts in six, seven, or eight years. They could be the new leaders. They could be talking about and praying for the junior high. Seeing it all in that perspective was uplifting, both in seeing how far God has brought me, as well as seeing the potential in these precious girls. God was kind in opening my eyes to this.

4. "Maybe God has chosen to use your experiences this week to grow you, not to show immediate growth in the girls in your tent. You might be planting seeds, you might be watering, but maybe this week is more about Elisabeth's relationship with God than anything else." These are some wise words spoken to me by my pastor, also helping with the discouraging factor. And he was right, to some extent. Though the serving factor was great, I could not neglect God's teaching in my life.

I'll end there, for now. Thanks for reading through this!

To read a day by day reflection/journal, go here.

To see two ridiculous pictures, go here (2006 Youth Retreat in the bag). You might have to scroll down a bit.


BTW, I'm a little baffled. How does calculus fit in theology?? I thought I had escaped that for the summer!

Youth Retreat, Part I: The Pictures

For your amusment...

I'm going to be gone for a week, so I thought I would put up a video for you to amuse yourselves with. I'm not sure that this at all proves my point (that soccer is worth something), but it's pretty funny footage, anyway. That is, if you can tolerate soccer.





Enjoy!!

We Are Called To Die

"We are called to die." We are not called to live an easy, comfort filled life, practicing our religion from the cozy confines of our home. We are called to die. We are not called to live.

As a Christian who likes my own comforts, I often forget about our true calling in Christ. I forget that it is not my will, but God's will. I forget that I am to be following hard after Christ, not myself. I have read most of Thomas A Kempis' book "Of the Imitation of Christ," and after recently flipping through it again, I came across this short passage:

"'He that followeth Me, walketh not in darkness,' (John 8:12) saith the Lord. These are the words of Christ, by which we are admonished how we ought to imitate His life and manners, if we will be truly enlightened, and be delivered from all blindness of heart. Let us therefore our chiefest endeavour be, to meditate upon the life of Jesus Christ. [...] But whosoever would fully and feelingly understand the words of Christ, must endeavour to conform his life wholly to the life of Christ. [...] Vanity it is, to wish to live long, and to be careless to live well. It is vanity to mind only this present life, and not to foresee those things which are to come. It is vanity to set thy love on that which speedily passeth away, and not to hasten thither where everlasting joy abideth. [...] Endeavour therefore to withdraw thy heart from the love of visible things, and to turn thyself to the invisible" (3-4).

Conforming our lives wholly to that of Christ's is not an easy calling. Taking up the cross and following Him is definitely not my first tendancy. However, it is rewarding and promises eternal gain with God. I have been blessed to be able to participate in some summer seminary classes through my church. One of the classes focuses on the history of the Church, specifically on the history of doctrine. The other class is an intensive study on the book of Ephesians. Coupled with both of these classes is a focus on ministry and on missions and what our role in that area should be. Last night we talked about our true calling, and for me it was a sweet time of being realigned with my purpose in Christ. Like I said before, so often I lose sight of what's important. I get caught up in the present and in my pride. I get caught up in the fact that my life might comprise of one embarrasing moment to the next. I start to focus on making my own life worthwhile to me, forgetting that that is God's job. Should I be chosen to physically die in this life for the sake of the Gospel, then that is God's perfect will and plan. I only pray that I would be willing and courageous to take up my cross. All other things pale in comparison to God's perfection and holiness. My life of mistakes does not matter. It lasts only for a moment. What matters is whether me is my focus, or God. Wow. Being called to die is huge, but being called to die for Christ is a call worth answering. Let us, let me, as Christians in the 21st century, not be afraid to wholly and completely trust in God, knowing that our calling is not in vain.

We were having an unofficial photo contest for the night, and I think I pretty much won with the coolest still shot of my coffee...