Mediocrity is paralyzing. That combined with the fact that there really is nothing new under the sun (even Solomon was saying that all the way back in Ecclesiastes) really makes me pause and question the point of trying to learn something - or the point of doing anything, really. I'm guessing I'm not the first person who's thought about this.
First, mediocrity. I am a jack-of-all-trades. However, I have not mastered even a one. And really, I'm not even a jack-of-all-trades. I'm more of an amateur of many select "trades" that I wish I had real talent in. For instance, I've toyed with the idea of writing a book. Then I remember, I have friends who are actually writing books and who are phenomenal writers to begin with. I would love to sing professionally. But oh wait, I have friends who do that, too. And they have actually devoted time to learning how. I've thought about acting, studying medicine, journalism, sports, cooking, event planning, dancing, designing, etc. But I have friends who do all of those things professionally and with class. I don't measure up. It's not really that my friends can do these things well - I am actually super excited for them and can't wait to see how God will use and already has used them in their fields. No, it's the fact that they were all motivated to pick one thing and stick to it for years and years and years. I was not wise enough to do that. I dabbled in things here and there, just picking up what I felt like. I'm not one of those geniuses, though, who can pick something up in a day, become a pro, and then move onto the next thing. Nope. I am a true dabbler who becomes mediocre in many areas. The list of things that I can do sounds impressive when I say it...but it's the skill level that is lacking. Sure I can sing, but you wouldn't want to hire me for a wedding. I can definitely play soccer, but I only developed the defensive skills to play on the right side of the field. I can design a simple web site, but you would get bored after clicking on the one hyperlink that is slightly off-center in the middle of the page. The result of this is that I have no idea what to pursue next. Do I pick something that I've already done and work on that skill? Or do I start something new, and become an amateur of yet another thing?
Second, there is literally nothing new under the sun. The "new atheism"? Nope, Paul dealt with that in Acts. Postmodernism? Not really - it was also seen in the early Roman Empire. New book ideas? New songs? New moves? No, no, no. Now these might be cleverly packaged, or spun fresh, but it's not new. The book might have different characters in a different setting, but the plot and storyline are eerily familiar. The song might be mixed differently, but really it's this guitar riff plus that vocalization plus the other cello line. This definitely isn't bad, it's just a fact. In a way, I'm glad that this is the case, especially with things like philosophies. It means that I don't have to come up with a new way to respond to it - I can simply look through history and choose accordingly. On the other hand, though, when I think I'm being creative and then realize that what I'm doing is exactly what Joe Smith did fifty years ago in another random country, I get a little bummed out.
So what's the point? (An excellent question.) Well, these musings are all pointing to an overarching question that really drives my thought process - Just what is my purpose in life? If my purpose was grounded in something that I've accomplished or something that I've come up with, obviously (based on my mediocrity) it would be split about 50 ways and randomly stuck in different piles of stuff that I call my life. And the pieces wouldn't be grounded, they would be swimming about aimlessly. That's a mess. And not worth living for.
Fortunately, though, I'm not left to rely on myself for my sense of purpose. Because Christ came to earth, died on the cross, and rose again for me, He has given me the only reason to live...which is to glorify Him and preach His name. So in a sense, it doesn't matter what I'm good at or what I do, so long as it is done in a way that glorifies God and proclaims the gospel. And included in God's ultimate purpose for me (which is for Him) is a carefully chosen plan that He has designed. So not only do I know my purpose, but I also know that God is here, with me and showing me every step of the way. And the reason I chose to follow God's purpose for me is because it is the only way that leads to eternal life. (A lot more went into that decision, like the fact that I am a vile sinner, and the fact that only Jesus can wash away my sin, and the fact that...well, you get the picture. But that is for a different story.) The point is, I'm living for eternity, even in spite of my paltriness exhibited here on earth.
That doesn't totally assuage the lack skill I feel in my life, or the aimlessness that sometimes bears upon me. However, it does give me a hope for the time I am given. I don't have anything better than anyone else. In fact, I'm convinced that everybody has at least one thing, skill or otherwise, that is better that something that I have. But I have Christ and an eternity with Him to look forward to, which is the driving force behind my life.
